5 Steps To Healing The Hurt Of Infidelity

Few things are as emotionally painful as betrayal. The pain of infidelity can be cured, if you choose to try to restore the relationship and forgive an affair. At this point, the pain your feeling may be beyond description. Believe it or not, there advantages to forgiving someone who's cheated on you, even though forgiveness might not seem to make much sense right now. You might be doing this because your feelings for him are still strong, but an even more important reason is that you're doing it for yourself. Forgiving and healing is good not only for the cheater, but for you as well. Forgiving infidelity, though, is something that you do only once with a boyfriend - make it clear that there are no third chances. If he's cheated before, and has now cheated again, you know he's going to do it again. Get on with your life without him. If he's really sincere about rebuilding the relationship, then try these five steps:

Healing Infidelity Tip #1

The first step is this: sit down and have an honest talk with him about his infidelity. No matter hard it is for you, it's going to be hard on him as well, because he's going to have to explain why he couldn't be faithful. He'll be admitting that he's weak. But it's a critical conversation to have if you're to find out why he cheated. Perhaps he thought that your feelings for him had cooled down, or maybe he just had a crisis of self-confidence. When he gives his account of his actions, don't be judgmental and accusing. If he's sincere, he feels bad enough now, and you probably can't say anything to him he hasn't said himself. You'll be able to judge the depth of his sincerity and remorse during this conversation, which is the other reason you can't skip it.

Healing Infidelity Tip #2

The second step is to let your feelings out. Right now, you probably feel all sorts of emotions bottled up inside you. You need to let your emotions out, but don't do it in a harmful way. Drugs and alcohol, for instance, are far more likely to harm you than let you deal with your emotions. There are all sorts of ways to express those emotions, though, without risking your physical or mental health in the process. An excellent outlet is to write in a journal. Another approach is to adopt a regular workout routine. The point is, though, that you've got to do something to get those emotions out of you - you've got to purge them. One way that many people have found successful is simply to have a good cry. One of the keys to healing infidelity is to heal yourself.

Healing Infidelity Tip #3

The third step may be the hardest, because the third step is to forgive. At this point, if you haven't really forgiven him, there's no point in being in a relationship with your boyfriend. It's time to put the past behind you. You made your choice, now forgive him. Your love for him will give you the strength to forgive him.

Healing Infidelity Tip #4

The fourth step is to make an appointment with a counselor or other mental health professional. You both need some professional-level help and support in your relationship. The only alternative is to talk to a trusted friend who's had first-hand experience in what you're going through. As with all things worth having, this will take some work. One crucial point is to listen to what he has to say and don't accuse. Don't waste your time, or your friend's by pointing fingers or being judgmental. You can't rescue the relationship yourself, and he certainly can't do it on his own. It needs the two of your working together.

Healing Infidelity Tip #5

The fifth and final step is this: accept what's happened, put it behind you, and move on with your life. The kind of pain caused by infidelity can be massive. It takes time to heal with both of you working on it. Betrayal's pain doesn't get healed overnight, so don't expect that. It's generally take you longer to heal, since you were the one who was hurt. The healing will come faster, though, if you look forward instead of backward.

If you can overcome the pain of infidelity, it will likely make yours a strong and secure relationship. I hope the steps I've presented here can help. It's certainly true that we all make mistakes - nobody is perfect! When we encounter such bad situations, what's most important is how we lean and grow from them.